A question from a reader:

Hi, I am having a huge problem!. I go to a Physical Fitness place and one of the girls who works at the front desk I am very attracted to. Other than the Hi , how are you?, bye we don’t speak its more of a courtesy thing.

I don’t even know her name. What is it I can do?

Answer

Your right, that is a huge problem. A lot of guys like the girl at the front desk of a gym - apparently they’re all gorgeous!

The thing to remember here is that she probably get hit on all the time by other men who are members of the gym. This could mean she is a more difficult target.

Here’s what I would do. You said you don’t know her name. The next time you go to the front desk to check in, say something like “You know this is a little embarrassing. I’ve been coming here a while now & I don’t even know your name.” She should then introduce herself. Bam - 1st problem solved.

Here are some things to remember if you’re going to do this: Make sure she isn’t busy talking to other people or there’s a line of members waiting to check in. After the introduction, make whatever conversation you have brief - only about 1 minute. Keep the conversations short during the first few you have. What you’re doing is building up familiarity. Once the both of you know each other through these short conversations, you can graduate up to a longer one.

As far as holding a conversation, remember some universal truths. People typically like to talk about themselves. Don’t bring up politics or religion (during the first conversations), they can cause arguments. Don’t ask anything personal (do you have a boyfriend?, etc.).

I hope this helps! Good luck!

A question from a reader:

Since Thanksgiving is this week, is it cool to invite a girl over for thanksgiving dinner with the family?

Answer

It really depends. If you’ve known the girl for a while or is she knows your family, then yes, go ahead and invite her.

However, if you have only met the girl, asking her to share Thanksgiving dinner with your family might scare her off.

Keep in mind, she probably has plans with her family too. Don’t get too disappointed if she can’t come over.

Question:
How would you approach a girl at school? When do you think is the best time to approach her (after school)? Also, how should I present myself (Hi! I’m a guy from your chemistry class.. My name is ‘X’ )?

Shawn, a new reader

Answer:
You want to make sure to catch her at the most convenient time for her, not yourself - that’s the best time to approach. Don’t try it when she’s in a hurry or in the middle of conversation with others.

You’re probably going to roll your eyes at this but the best way to approach her is to be yourself. Yeah, I know, you’ve heard that before. Yeah, I know, you might be thinking, “But being myself doesn’t work!”

Trust me, it works!

Just play it cool, by which I mean don’t look nervous. Go up to her and say “Hey, you’re in my chemistry class. I’m Shawn.” She’ll respond, probably by introducing herself. When she does try to keep the conversation going using some of the techniques in the article How to start a conversation.

Good luck man!

Some guys are so afraid about interacting with girls, they begin to make excuses for their fear. Some say things like, “There’s plenty of time for me to find someone.” Others say, “I’m happy being by myself; I don’t need a girl.” The truth is that humans are designed to be social creatures. Sure, you don’t have to have a girlfriend to be happy. But, in order to be happy, you must socialize with other people - including girls!

Overcoming your fear of talking to girls isn’t simply about getting a date. It’s about being able to function, properly, in the world. It’s about having a truly content life, one were you can look back at your past and not have any regrets!

I don’t know about you but when I was scared to talk to girls I had plenty of regrets. Now that I have overcome my fear, I don’t have any. What about you? Come join me in a discussion and let’s get rid of any fears you have!