Archive for November, 2007

10 ways to get rid of an irritating girlfriend

Monday, November 19th, 2007

It’s time for advice of a different kind. How do get rid of a girl.

  1. Make her wait for ages… when the dates are planned by her and, even worse when they are planned by you.
  2. Do not ever use a deodorant when you’re around her. Make it a point to munch on onions before you meet her.
  3. Attend as many calls as you can when she’s spending time with you… it helps if the one calling is you’re ex-girlfriend and it’s even better if it’s your ’supposedly’ intimate boyfriend.
  4. Be as GAY as you can!
  5. Make sure you invite her best friend every time you go out with her, and hit on her friend as shamelessly as you can. The drool-pot is a sure winner!
  6. Dress as horrendously as you possible can. Colour combinations are a strict NO-NO, unless you’re planning on doing a fluorescent orange and bright pink combo. Classic!
  7. Gorge yourself on food, hers, yours, her friend’s and make sure food spills out of your mouth every minute or so, during your lunch or dinner dates.
  8. BURP! As often and as loudly as you can. Gaseous emanations of other kinds are also sure ways to your ultimate triumph!
  9. Make sure she realizes you’re not busy, but pretend to be as busy as you can possibly be when she’s around… she’ll get the hint… or even better, pair it up with being a schedule freak.
  10. Pretend you have a serious crotch infection, or a fetish or an obsession for everything down under!

Posted in relationship advice | 2 Comments »

Is it OK to invite a girl to Thanksgiving dinner

Sunday, November 18th, 2007

A question from a reader:

Since Thanksgiving is this week, is it cool to invite a girl over for thanksgiving dinner with the family?

Answer

It really depends. If you’ve known the girl for a while or is she knows your family, then yes, go ahead and invite her.

However, if you have only met the girl, asking her to share Thanksgiving dinner with your family might scare her off.

Keep in mind, she probably has plans with her family too. Don’t get too disappointed if she can’t come over.

Posted in How to talk to girls | 1 Comment »

When is the best time to approach a girl at school?

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

Question:
How would you approach a girl at school? When do you think is the best time to approach her (after school)? Also, how should I present myself (Hi! I’m a guy from your chemistry class.. My name is ‘X’ )?

Shawn, a new reader

Answer:
You want to make sure to catch her at the most convenient time for her, not yourself - that’s the best time to approach. Don’t try it when she’s in a hurry or in the middle of conversation with others.

You’re probably going to roll your eyes at this but the best way to approach her is to be yourself. Yeah, I know, you’ve heard that before. Yeah, I know, you might be thinking, “But being myself doesn’t work!”

Trust me, it works!

Just play it cool, by which I mean don’t look nervous. Go up to her and say “Hey, you’re in my chemistry class. I’m Shawn.” She’ll respond, probably by introducing herself. When she does try to keep the conversation going using some of the techniques in the article How to start a conversation.

Good luck man!

Posted in How to talk to girls | 8 Comments »

Does she mean what she says?

Tuesday, November 6th, 2007
What Women Say… What Women Think…
She usually says… A woman doesn’t think and talk in two different directions unlike the men, but sometimes they aren’t very different!
Am I fat? If you tell me I am, I’m just going to run to the refrigerator and gorge on my third round of chocolate pastries and chips to feel better!
Swear on me! Really, swear on me! Though I know I’m never going to drop dead, however hard you wish.
What are you doing? Now were you playing with yourself or is someone else in the bathroom?
You’re late! You’re always late!
Do you know what day is today? You forgot one of the special days in my life… like the 3rd day of my cycle.
Do I look good? Do you want to spend the night on the sofa?… then the answer better be Yes!
Listen to me… You bastard, wake up!!
Is that girl prettier than me? You better say no, buster!
How much do you love me? How much do you love me?
I shopped today! I’ve maxed our credit cards, don’t you think we need to get more of those?
Don’t you think we need more credit cards? Well, didn’t you just understand what I said?
Really?!!! There is where I drive the stake into your chest, unless I hear something more convincing!
   

Courtesy of Lover’s Lawn

Posted in How to talk to girls, Uncategorized, relationship advice | 5 Comments »